A Touch Of Humor

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

Mark Twain

A Touch Of Humor

A New York woman is suing her surgeon claiming he was on his cell phone during her operation. In response, the doctor said, “For your information, I was Googling ‘how to perform surgery.’”

Conan O'Brien

A Touch Of Humor

“Want to know what God thinks of money? Look at the people he gave it to.” —Dorothy Parker, writer

A Touch Of Humor

“To you, I'm an atheist.
To God, I'm the loyal opposition.” 
― Woody Allen

A Touch Of Humor

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

W.C. Fields

A Touch Of Humor

Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

George Carlin

A Touch Of Humor

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

Jack Benny