Monday, June 1, 2020

A Touch Of Humor

In Las Vegas several big hotels on the strip are slated to be up and running starting a week from tomorrow but with safety measures in place. Casinos will now be offering no contact curbside delivery which means you can drop off your money and then drive away without ever having to go inside to lose.

Jimmy Kimmel

Friday, May 29, 2020

A Touch Of Humor

In Los Angeles, the mayor Eric Garcetti announced that as of today all retail businesses are allowed to let customers in provided they take the necessary precautions. And if it goes as they hope it will, they’re saying curbside Botox injections could start up again as soon as next week.

Jimmy Kimmel

Thursday, May 28, 2020

A Touch Of Humor

“Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does --- except wrinkles. It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.”
― Dear Abby (Advice Columnist)

Wednesday, May 27, 2020

A Touch Of Humor

"Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir" without  adding, 'You're making a scene.' "

Homer Simpson

Tuesday, May 26, 2020

A Touch Of Humor

“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.” 
― George Bernard Shaw

Monday, May 25, 2020

A Touch Of Humor

Ukraine announced plans to open Chernobyl, their nuclear disaster site, to tourists. They say it's just like Disneyland, except the 6-foot mouse is real.

Conan O'Brien

Friday, May 22, 2020

A Touch Of Humor

[Dating Over Age 40] I'm a single guy, I'm single and I just turned 50, which means I'm ready to cut a deal. If you have a nut-job sister-in-law you're trying to shove off on someone - I'll take a look! Whenever I say that, men laugh and women go - "What about Carol?"

Joe DeVito