Monday, July 24, 2017

A Touch OF Humor

When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something. 

Homer Simpson

Friday, July 21, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him? 

Jerry Seinfeld

Thursday, July 20, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Two Papa John’s employees in Washington State were arrested this week for allegedly delivering cocaine in pizza boxes. Authorities became suspicious when Papa John’s started getting five-star Yelp reviews that were 47 paragraphs long.

Seth Meyers

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Thirty-six percent of Americans say that they've heard the voice of God. It's not clear of that 36% how many people are mistaking the voice of God for the voice of Morgan Freeman. That's an easy mistake to make.

John Oliver

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Monday, July 17, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“Aside from Velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can't see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge you upwards of seventy-five dollars per hour for it, without necessarily fixing anything.” 
― Dave Barry

Friday, July 14, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

One thing that's good about procrastination is that you always have something planned for tomorrow.

G.B. [Gladys Bertha] Stern