Thursday, August 17, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

I was made merely in the image of God, but not otherwise resembling Him enough to be mistaken for Him by anybody but a very nearsighted person.

Mark Twain

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.” 
― Woody Allen

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

If God needs money, why doesn't he just write another Bible? The first one sold pretty well.

Homer Simpson

Monday, August 14, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

A California man is suing the makers of Heineken, claiming he found a gecko in his can of beer. But on the bright side, he did save 15 percent on car insurance.

Seth Meyers

Sunday, August 13, 2017

A Touch of Humor

                                                                                 Google Images

A Touch of Humor

                                                                             Google Images

Friday, August 11, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Dave Barry On How You Too Could Own A Tank.  

“Perhaps you are thinking: 'But a tank costs several million dollars, not including floor mats. I don't have that kind of money.'
Don't be silly. You're a consumer, right? You have credit cards, right?
Perhaps you are thinking: 'Yes, but how am I going to pay the credit-card company?'
Don't be silly. You have a tank, right?” 
― Dave Barry

Thursday, August 10, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Today is Smokey Bear’s 73rd birthday. You can tell Smokey's getting older because now his motto is "Just Let It Burn — I'm Watching 'Judge Judy.'"

Conan O'Brien

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Sometimes when I am driving I get so angry at inconsiderate drivers that I want to scream at them. But then I remember how insignificant that is, and I thank God that I have a car and my health and gas. That was phrased wrong - normally you wouldn't say, thank God I have gas.

Ellen DeGeneres

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.” 
― Woody Allen

Monday, August 7, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Trump is also being criticized for his conversation with the president of Mexico, where he called New Hampshire “a drug-infested den.” New Hampshire says it’s furious, while Colorado says it has to find a new nickname.

Jimmy Fallon

Friday, August 4, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

"The Today Show" just featured a group of moms in California who said that smoking weed makes them better parents. When asked if their kids agree, the moms were like, "Oh crap, the kids!"

Jimmy Fallon

Thursday, August 3, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life.

Number 1 - Cover for me.
Number 2 - Oh good idea, Boss!
Number 3 - It was like that when I got here.

Homer Simpson

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Anne Hathaway is in talks to star in the upcoming “Barbie” movie. She’ll have to say goodbye to her brown hair for the role, while the actor playing Ken will have to say goodbye to something else.

Jimmy Fallon

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Doctors are criticizing a hospital in Georgia for having a McDonald's restaurant in-house. When in fact, they should be praising McDonald’s for having a hospital around it.

Seth Meyers