Friday, April 29, 2022

A Touch of Humor

 A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.

Marty Allen

Thursday, April 28, 2022

A Touch of Humor

 Any pizza can be a personal pizza if you have the right attitude.

Mark Withers

Wednesday, April 27, 2022

A Touch of Humor

 By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.

Robert Frost

Tuesday, April 26, 2022

A Touch of Humor

 A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Groucho Marx

Monday, April 25, 2022

A Touch of Humor

 Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.

Billy Sunday

Friday, April 22, 2022

A Touch of Humor

 I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thursday, April 21, 2022

A Touch of Humor

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.

Gertrude Stein

Wednesday, April 20, 2022

A Touch of Humor

 The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

Bill Waterson

Tuesday, April 19, 2022

Monday, April 18, 2022

A Touch of Humor

A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.

Don Marquis

Friday, April 15, 2022

A Touch of Humor

 When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. 

Albert Einstein

Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/funny-quotes_5

Thursday, April 14, 2022

A Touch of Humor

 I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.

 Richard Lewis

Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/funny-quotes_4

Wednesday, April 13, 2022

Tuesday, April 12, 2022

A Touch of Humor

People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. 

George Carlin

Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/george-carlin-quotes

Monday, April 11, 2022

A Touch of Humor

 Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.' 

Mitch Hedberg

Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/mitch-hedberg-quotes

Friday, April 8, 2022

A Touch of Humor

 "Badges? We ain't got no badges! We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinking badges!"

THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE, Warner Bros., 1948



Thursday, April 7, 2022

A Touch of Humor

 "Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"

- Peter Graves, Airplane! (1980)



Wednesday, April 6, 2022

A Touch of Humor

  "You can't fool me! There ain't no sanity clause!"

- Chico Marx, A Night at the Opera (1935)



Tuesday, April 5, 2022

A Touch of Humor

 I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

 George Carlin

Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/george-carlin-quotes

Monday, April 4, 2022

A Touch of Humor

 An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

 Mitch Hedberg

Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/mitch-hedberg-quotes

Friday, April 1, 2022