Friday, February 15, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

I'm not a good looking guy. On Halloween I open the front door - kids give me candy.

Rodney Dangerfield

Thursday, February 14, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

In answer to the president’s claim of having a new border wall under construction, Jimmy Kimmel asks, "How do you finish a wall you haven't started?" He’s skipped from ‘build the wall’ to ‘finish the wall’. That’s how Orwellian this has become."

“We are one delusional rally away from: ‘Now that we’ve finished the wall, let’s paint the wall!’”

Wednesday, February 13, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

Trevor Noah pointed out that even though no new border wall has been built, President Trump now wants taller fencing. In other words: “He’s solved the problem of smugglers who are determined to sneak drugs into America but are too lazy to buy a somewhat taller ladder.”

Tuesday, February 12, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

[Re: Donald Trump's tax returns] “We’re finally going to find out what’s in them!”  Stephen Colbert said. “Did Putin claim Trump as a dependent? Did Trump check the box where you donate $3 to a Russian oligarch? Did he list his status as ‘married’ or ‘Yeah, but I’m not dead’?”

Monday, February 11, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

[Re: President Trump's claim of congressional "presidential harassment."] “You laugh but it’s true, folks,” Trevor Noah said on the Daily Show. “Presidential harassment is a serious crisis that affects one out of every 320 million people in this country.”

Friday, February 8, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

“The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun.”

Stephen Colbert

Thursday, February 7, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

"George Clooney says he's had sex with too many women to ever run for office. He was immediately made Prime Minister of Italy." -- Conan O'Brien

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

[Former Starbucks CEO] Howard Schultz’s potential run as a “centrist independent” is “making the Democrats shit themselves, which usually only happens after you drink his coffee” - Trevor Noah

Tuesday, February 5, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

Senator Kamala Harris said this week that as part of her presidential platform she would advocate for a single-payer health care system. It would replace our current system of taking Flintstones vitamins and hoping for the best.

Seth Meyers

Monday, February 4, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

“A new study suggests that a parasite found in cat pee can be linked to schizophrenia. Finally, a reason to stop drinking cat pee!” — SETH MEYERS

Friday, February 1, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

Will Rogers