Friday, May 26, 2017

A Touch of Humor

“If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.”

Andy Rooney

Thursday, May 25, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

A 101-year-old man recently became the oldest person to sky dive. At least that’s the explanation coming from United Airlines.

Seth Meyers

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Marijuana is legal here in California by state law. But it's still technically illegal, according to federal law. So the LAPD, the police, can't arrest you for having pot but an FBI agent can. It's confusing, right? Now imagine trying to understand that while you're high.
Jimmy Kimmel

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

A man in South Dakota is facing obstruction charges after ignoring orders from firefighters and running back into a burning building — twice — to save his beer. Even worse, both times he went back in, he ran right past his wife.
James Corden

Monday, May 22, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Last week, a man in Washington State tried to get out of drug charges by bribing the policeman with Taco Bell. Um, “nacho” smart. Police got suspicious of narcotics when they saw the man doing 75 miles per hour — he was on foot.
Harry Styles ( Guest Host, The Late Late Show With James Corden)

Friday, May 19, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Hackers claim that they have a copy of the new “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie, and they are seeking ransom money from Disney. Disney was like, “Go ahead, we just release the same exact movie every time and nobody’s noticed so far.”
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

Thursday, May 18, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

This week, a Toyota Land Cruiser set the record as the world’s fastest SUV after reaching 230 mph. Apparently somebody was really late to their kid’s soccer game.
Conan O'Brien

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Police are looking for a man who stole $5,000 worth of wigs from a home in Brooklyn. They described the man as blond… or brunet… or red-headed... Could be anything at this point.
Jimmy Fallon

Monday, May 15, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Humor from Warren Buffett, 86-year-old legendary investor:

"I'm one quarter Coca-Cola," Buffett tells Fortune. "If I eat 2700 calories a day, a quarter of that is Coca-Cola. I drink at least five 12-ounce servings."

His explanation for his sugar-centric diet: "I checked the actuarial tables, and the lowest death rate is among six-year-olds. So I decided to eat like a six-year-old. It's the safest course I can take."


Sunday, May 14, 2017

A Touch of Humor

                                                               Getting a Clue

A Touch of Humor

                                                       Head over Heels in Dandelions.
                                                                         Google Images

Friday, May 12, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

To me, political office should be like jury duty. You should just get a notice in the mail and be like, "I'm Secretary of State next month!"

Wanda Sykes

Thursday, May 11, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

On this day in 1960, the FDA approved the world’s first commercially produced birth control pill. And on this day in 1961, the first couple learned what 99.9 percent effective means.
Seth Meyers

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Saudi Arabia has been named to the United Nations’ Commission on Women’s Rights. In a related story, Ireland has been named to the UN Commission on Sobriety and Tanning.
Conan O'Brien

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Curious people are interesting people: I wonder why that is.

Bill Maher

Monday, May 8, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

The nation’s first drive-through marijuana dispensary is opening tomorrow in Colorado. Also, down the street will be the world’s most successful DUI checkpoint.
James Corden

Friday, May 5, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

An archaeologist is claiming he’s discovered an amazing lost city in Kansas. Then he realized he just got drunk and watched “The Wizard of Oz.”
Conan O'Brien

Thursday, May 4, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.” 

Andy Rooney

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Heineken just came out with a new ad where two people who disagree on an issue are put in a room together to talk about it over beer. ’Cuz if there’s one thing that helps an argument, it’s alcohol.'
Jimmy Fallon

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy. 

Jerry Seinfeld

Monday, May 1, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

‘What Are Black People Supposed to Do on This Holiday?’

Trevor Noah expressed his amazement on “The Daily Show” on Wednesday that something called Confederate Memorial Day still exists, even if it’s just in Alabama and Mississippi.

“What are black people supposed to do on this holiday?” he asked.

He imagined the dilemma: “So I either don’t get the day off, or I support slavery? Man, I’ll take the day off, but I’m watching B.E.T. [Black Entertainment Television] the whole time.”