Friday, November 17, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“I have noticed that even 
people who claim everything is pre­determined and that we can do nothing to change it look 
before they cross the road.” —Stephen Hawking, preeminent physicist

Thursday, November 16, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.

Homer Simpson

Wednesday, November 15, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Joe Biden said he’s open to running for president if no other Democrats step up. You know your party’s in trouble when someone signs up for president the way you sign up for karaoke.

Jimmy Fallon 

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“My advice to you is get married: If you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.”  —Socrates (Famed Philosopher)

Monday, November 13, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. They're the kind of people who'd stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. I would be reluctant to entrust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy. The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn't bother to stop because they'd want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club” 
― Dave Barry

Friday, November 10, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

"You can have all the money in the world, but there's one thing you will never have ... a dinosaur!".

Homer Simpson

Thursday, November 9, 2017

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.” —Tom Clancy, bestselling author

Monday, November 6, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

A coach for the Miami Dolphins had to resign after a video surfaced of him snorting white powder. Afterwards, the team was like, “So THAT’S why the 50-yard line kept disappearing.”

Jimmy Fallon

Friday, November 3, 2017

A Touch of Humor

In Wisconsin, a child’s trick-or-treat bag was found to contain meth. On the plus side, the kid did manage to hit 19 houses in under two minutes.

Conan O'Brien

Thursday, November 2, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”

Oscar Wilde

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Big Olympic news: The IOC said they may consider including pole-dancing, poker, and foosball in the next Olympics Games. They also said it’s the first Olympics that will be held in a frat house basement.

Conan O'Brien 

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

A Touch Of Humor,

We're told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really, what would upset the Taliban more than a gay woman wearing a suit in front of a room full of Jews?

Ellen DeGeneres

Monday, October 30, 2017

A Touch of Humor


A Touch Of Humor

I read that Queen Elizabeth has made nearly $9 million in winnings from her race horses over the past 30 years. She lost most of it betting on cockfights, but still — that's a lot!

Jimmy Fallon

Friday, October 27, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.” —Johnny Carson

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Touch of Humor

                                                                  Google Images

A Touch of Humor


A Touch Of Humor

“Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent. ” 
― Dave Barry

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Following an argument, an 
angry Lady Astor told Winston Churchill, “Winston, if you were 
my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee.” Churchill snapped, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

People who point at their wrist while asking for the time: I know where my watch is buddy, where the f**k is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?

George Carlin

Monday, October 23, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

 “I’m not offended by blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb … and I also know that I’m not blonde.” —Dolly Parton

Friday, October 20, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Researchers say they may have figured out how the ancient Egyptians built the Great Pyramid of Giza. What they haven’t figured out is how the ancient Egyptians got Mexico to pay for it.

Conan O'Brien

Thursday, October 19, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

The new iPhone is pretty incredible. Experts say it's going to revolutionize the way we ignore the person standing right next to us.

James Corden

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Ikea has released its first collection of furniture designed specifically for pets. Although, if I can’t figure out how to put it together, I don’t see how they will.

Seth Meyers

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.”  —Abraham Lincoln

Monday, October 16, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Amazon just announced that teens can now shop on their parents’ accounts, but the order will only go through if Mom and Dad approve it. Or if they click the button that says, “Mom and Dad approve it.”

Jimmy Fallon

Friday, October 13, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Thanks to Ben Haney for passing this along.

A Touch Of Humor

Apple CEO Tim Cook is claiming that the $1000 iPhone X is a good value. Cook said, “It’s the last phone you’ll ever need for the next eight months."

Conan O'Brien

Thursday, October 12, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“Part of [the $10 million] went 
for gambling, horses, and women. The rest I spent foolishly.” —George Raft, film star

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.” 
― Woody Allen

Monday, October 9, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Google just released a pair of headphones that can translate 40 languages instantly. They say it’s a great way to travel to a new country and find out everyone’s making fun of you.

Jimmy Fallon

Friday, October 6, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.” 
― Dave Barry

Thursday, October 5, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

I have not failed: I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work

Thomas Edison

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: He is always convinced that it says what he means.

George Bernard Shaw

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

"Why is it no-one ever says, 'I think he's down there now smiling up at us.' Apparently, it never occurs to people that their loved ones might be in Hell ... "

George Carlin

Monday, October 2, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

In China, for the first time ever, a robot performed dental surgery without human assistance. Everyone was excited until they remembered that the robot was just supposed to vacuum the living room.

Conan O'Brien

Friday, September 29, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

And some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish. Of COURSE he was Jewish! 30 years old, single, lives with his parents, come on! He works in his father's business, his mom thought he was God's gift, he's Jewish! Give it up!

Robin Williams

Thursday, September 28, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to return to the next "Terminator" movie. In this one, Arnold goes back in time to erase all traces of him hosting "Celebrity Apprentice."

Conan O'Brien

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.” 
― Woody Allen

A Touch of Humor

                                                                            Google Images

A Touch of Humor

                                                                             Google Images

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

Sam Ewing

Monday, September 25, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

I saw that Coca-Cola is selling a new drink in Japan called "Coca-Cola Coffee Plus.” They say it’s great if you like Coke, love coffee, and hate blinking.

Jimmy Fallon

Friday, September 22, 2017

Thursday, September 21, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.” 
― Dave Barry

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Religion has convinced people that there’s an invisible man…living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn’t want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

George Carlin

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the south? Nothing! Someone is losing a trailer.

Robin Williams

Friday, September 15, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Professional children's clowns are upset that the Stephen King movie "It" makes them look like murderers. That's true. And professional murderers are upset that it makes them look like children's clowns.

Conan O'Brien

Thursday, September 14, 2017

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.

Mark Twain

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.” 
― Dave Barry

Monday, September 11, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown. The difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it."

Billy Crystal

Saturday, September 9, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Murphy's Other 15 Laws (Courtesy of my friend Ben Haney)

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

Friday, September 8, 2017

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

What is a date really, but a job interview that lasts all night. The only difference is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you'll wind up naked. 

Jerry Seinfeld

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

It's weird when pregnant women feel the baby kicking. They say, “Oh my. He is kicking.” Do you wanna feel it? I always feel awkward reaching over there. Come on! It's weird to ask someone to feel your stomach. I don’t do that when I have gas. Oh my… give me your hand… It won't be long now…

Andy Rooney

Monday, September 4, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.” 
― Dave Barry

Friday, September 1, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

I'm a — I'm a, um, a godmother which is just, that's fun to be a godmother, she is so precious, she's the light of my life, she's two... or five or something, and she's, uh... I don't know, I've never seen her — the pictures are precious, she just seems so, y'know... She lives clear across town, I don't have that kind of time, but, um... Well, I send money and stuff, it's not like I don't have a connection.

Ellen Degeneres

Thursday, August 31, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

If you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

Homer Simpson

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“All Dogs Go To Heaven? Sorry, kids. It's only the dogs who've accepted Christ.”  

Stephen Colbert

Monday, August 28, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

A 16-year-old Wichita high school student is running for governor of Kansas. The teenager’s two campaign promises are to address healthcare and get rid of trigonometry.

Conan O'Brien

Friday, August 25, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.” 
― Woody Allen

Thursday, August 24, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Archaeologists have just uncovered evidence of a Native American civilization that vanished, completely vanished in the 13th century. Isn't that amazing? Apparently they died out months after selecting their new leader, Chief Trump. Then they were gone.

Conan O'Brien

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.” 
― Dave Barry

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.”
Ellen DeGeneres

Monday, August 21, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

A man in the U.K. saved his pet tortoise by giving it mouth-to-mouth resuscitation — at least that’s what he told his wife when she walked in on them.

Jimmy Fallon

Friday, August 18, 2017

A Touch of Humor


A Touch of Humor


Three men were discussing aging at the nursing home.
“Sixty is the worst age to be,” said the 60-year-old. You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!”
“Ah, that’s nothin’,” said the 70-year-old. “When you’re seventy, you can’t even crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and nothin’ comes out!”
“Actually,” said the 80-year-old, “Eighty is the worst age of all.”
“Do you have trouble peeing too?” asked the 60-year-old.
“No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all.”
“Do you have trouble crapping?”
“No, I crap every morning at 6:30.”
With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, “Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what’s so tough about being 80?”
“I don’t wake up until 7:00.”

A Touch Of Humor

In Virginia someone broke into a man's apartment, cleaned it, and took nothing. Completely cleaned the place. Police are describing the suspect as his mother.

Conan O'Brien

Thursday, August 17, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

I was made merely in the image of God, but not otherwise resembling Him enough to be mistaken for Him by anybody but a very nearsighted person.

Mark Twain

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.” 
― Woody Allen

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

If God needs money, why doesn't he just write another Bible? The first one sold pretty well.

Homer Simpson

Monday, August 14, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

A California man is suing the makers of Heineken, claiming he found a gecko in his can of beer. But on the bright side, he did save 15 percent on car insurance.

Seth Meyers

Sunday, August 13, 2017

A Touch of Humor

                                                                                 Google Images

A Touch of Humor

                                                                             Google Images

Friday, August 11, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Dave Barry On How You Too Could Own A Tank.  

“Perhaps you are thinking: 'But a tank costs several million dollars, not including floor mats. I don't have that kind of money.'
Don't be silly. You're a consumer, right? You have credit cards, right?
Perhaps you are thinking: 'Yes, but how am I going to pay the credit-card company?'
Don't be silly. You have a tank, right?” 
― Dave Barry

Thursday, August 10, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Today is Smokey Bear’s 73rd birthday. You can tell Smokey's getting older because now his motto is "Just Let It Burn — I'm Watching 'Judge Judy.'"

Conan O'Brien

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Sometimes when I am driving I get so angry at inconsiderate drivers that I want to scream at them. But then I remember how insignificant that is, and I thank God that I have a car and my health and gas. That was phrased wrong - normally you wouldn't say, thank God I have gas.

Ellen DeGeneres

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.” 
― Woody Allen

Monday, August 7, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Trump is also being criticized for his conversation with the president of Mexico, where he called New Hampshire “a drug-infested den.” New Hampshire says it’s furious, while Colorado says it has to find a new nickname.

Jimmy Fallon

Friday, August 4, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

"The Today Show" just featured a group of moms in California who said that smoking weed makes them better parents. When asked if their kids agree, the moms were like, "Oh crap, the kids!"

Jimmy Fallon

Thursday, August 3, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life.

Number 1 - Cover for me.
Number 2 - Oh good idea, Boss!
Number 3 - It was like that when I got here.

Homer Simpson

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Anne Hathaway is in talks to star in the upcoming “Barbie” movie. She’ll have to say goodbye to her brown hair for the role, while the actor playing Ken will have to say goodbye to something else.

Jimmy Fallon

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Doctors are criticizing a hospital in Georgia for having a McDonald's restaurant in-house. When in fact, they should be praising McDonald’s for having a hospital around it.

Seth Meyers

Monday, July 31, 2017

Friday, July 28, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

The owner of a clown motel in Nevada is looking to sell it. The clown motel is like any other motel, except it only has one parking spot.

Jimmy Fallon

Thursday, July 27, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don't think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time.

Art Buchwald

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble.”
Ellen DeGeneres

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Mark Twain

Monday, July 24, 2017

A Touch OF Humor

When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something. 

Homer Simpson

Friday, July 21, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him? 

Jerry Seinfeld

Thursday, July 20, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Two Papa John’s employees in Washington State were arrested this week for allegedly delivering cocaine in pizza boxes. Authorities became suspicious when Papa John’s started getting five-star Yelp reviews that were 47 paragraphs long.

Seth Meyers

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Thirty-six percent of Americans say that they've heard the voice of God. It's not clear of that 36% how many people are mistaking the voice of God for the voice of Morgan Freeman. That's an easy mistake to make.

John Oliver

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Monday, July 17, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“Aside from Velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can't see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge you upwards of seventy-five dollars per hour for it, without necessarily fixing anything.” 
― Dave Barry

Friday, July 14, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

One thing that's good about procrastination is that you always have something planned for tomorrow.

G.B. [Gladys Bertha] Stern

Thursday, July 13, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass.

Mark Twain

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

There’s a new museum opening in Sweden this summer called the Museum of Failure. When asked when they’d finish it, builders said, “We probably won’t.”
Jimmy Fallon

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.” 
― Dave Barry

Monday, July 10, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

There isn't a child who hasn't gone out into the brave new world who eventually doesn't return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothing.

Art Buchwald

Sunday, July 9, 2017

A Touch of Humor

                                                                               Google Images

Friday, July 7, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” 

Mark Twain

Thursday, July 6, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.” 

Ellen DeGeneres

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

A college student in Florida is accused of breaking into a building and changing his grade from an “F” to a “B.” His parents were like, “Really, you can't even get an 'A' when you're cheating?”
Jimmy Fallon

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Astronomers are saying that a mysterious signal from space was caused by gas surrounding a comet. Of course, the comet is claiming the gas came from its dog.

Conan O'Brien

Monday, July 3, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren't cows outside a lot of the time? When it's raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, "Let us in! We're all wearing leather! Open the door! We're going to ruin the whole outfit here!" 

Jerry Seinfeld

Saturday, July 1, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

On Jun 24, 2017, at 3:24 PM, my friend Ben Haney sent this joke:

The Urinal  Is Too High:

A group of 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to the local racetrack, (Churchill Downs ) to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry (Bourbon), but mostly to see the horses.

When it was time to take the children to the bathroom, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's room when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal.

Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their pants, and began hoisting the little boys up one by one … holding on to their little 'wee-wees' to direct the flow away from their clothes.

As she lifted one little guy, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, "You must be in the 5th grade." 

"No ma'am," he replied, "I'm riding Silver Arrow in the seventh race … but I appreciate your help."

Friday, June 30, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“I'm not a believer, I call myself an atheist. It was man who invented God. I once wrote that there are 15 things I know about God, and one is that he is allergic to shellfish. There are far too many commandments and you really only need one: Do not hurt anybody."

Carl Reiner

Thursday, June 29, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

“I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.”  

Ellen DeGeneres 

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Can you believe how many award shows they have now? They have awards for commercials. The Cleo Awards, a whole show full of commercials. I taped it and then I fast-forwarded through the whole thing.

Andy Rooney

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

A boy in Maryland this weekend was trapped in an arcade claw machine after climbing through the prize door. Luckily, rescuers were able to get him out after about 35 quarters.

Seth Meyers

Monday, June 26, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around. 

Homer Simpson

Friday, June 23, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

I read about a couple in Vermont that is selling their house, and part of it extends over the border into Canada. It’s really cool — it has three bedrooms, two baths, and free healthcare.

Jimmy Fallon

A Touch of Humor


A Touch of Humor


Thursday, June 22, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble.

Ellen DeGeneres

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

I'd like to acknowledge three people who early on knew Mel Brooks was one of the funniest people in the world. Sid Caesar, me, and Mel Brooks.

Carl Reiner

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Fox News is dropping its famous tagline, “Fair and Balanced.” Fox News is swapping it for the more accurate tagline, “Paranoia and Ads for Cialis.”

Conan O'Brien

Monday, June 19, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Fox News is changing its slogan and it turns out they’re not the only TV network that’s getting a new one. For example, Disney Channel’s new slogan is “cheaper than a babysitter.”

Jimmy Fallon

Friday, June 16, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning ‘lousy hunter’

Andy Rooney

Thursday, June 15, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Puerto Rico has decided they want to become a U.S. state. When they heard about it, California said, “That’s great, they can take our place.”

Conan O'Brien

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

L.A. is one of the two finalists to host the 2024 Olympics. So if you want to attend one of the events in L.A., you should get on the freeway now.
Conan O'Brien

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

"Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them."

Bill Maher

Monday, June 12, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

An 88-year-old woman has set a new record for oldest female to stand on the wing of a flying plane. It sounds dangerous, but it’s actually the safest place to be when you fly United.

Seth Meyers

Friday, June 9, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Kuwaiti customs officials recently captured a pigeon found carrying almost 200 ecstasy pills in a tiny backpack. Officials first became suspicious when they saw a pigeon wearing a tiny backpack.
Seth Meyers

Thursday, June 8, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

At a Walmart in Minnesota, a customer had to tackle a confused deer after it wandered into the store. The deer is fine and was released back into the wild, which makes this the happiest possible ending to a story of a deer walking into one of America’s largest suppliers of hunting rifles.

Walmart is already trying to capitalize on this by changing their slogan to “Walmart: Where You Can Always Save a Buck.”

James Corden

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

A Touch Of Humor

Two people in Arkansas were arrested for stealing $5,000 worth of Little Debbie snack cakes. They were charged with theft and I assume possession of weed.

Jimmy Fallon