Tuesday, June 19, 2018

A Touch Of Humor

  • This year, Americans spent around $15 billion on Father's Day. When dads thanked their kids for the gifts, the kids were like, "No problem, I ordered them using your Amazon account.” - Jimmy Fallon

Monday, June 18, 2018

A Touch Of Humor

  • The state of Vermont is trying to get people to move into their state and to sweeten the deal they're now offering each new resident up to $10,000. This is great because up until now, the most popular way to become a Vermont resident was through the witness protection program. - James Corden

Friday, June 15, 2018

A Touch Of Humor

  • Today it was announced the U.S. will host the 2026 World Cup with Mexico. Players can either travel from the U.S. to Mexico by plane or just walk past the wall that still won't be built. - Jimmy Fallon

Thursday, June 14, 2018

A Touch Of Humor

  • George H.W. Bush turned 94 today, and he is now the oldest living president ever. Bush toasted himself saying, "Suck it, Thomas Jefferson." - Conan O'Brien

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

A Touch Of Humor

  • Scientists are predicting that in a few years we'll be able to smell the TV shows we watch. This is good news for every single show except "Dog the Bounty Hunter." - Conan O'Brien

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

A Touch Of Humor

Everyone appreciates your honesty until you're honest with them. Then you're an ass****

George Carlin

Monday, June 11, 2018

A Touch Of Humor

  • Just months after President Trump promised to send astronauts back to the moon, NASA has stopped working on its moon rover project. Now when they head to the moon, the astronauts' plan is to just have a friend pick them up when they land. - James Corden

Friday, June 8, 2018

A Touch Of Humor

  • A man who was bitten by a shark, a bear, and a rattlesnake in less than four years and survived. The man thanked God he's still alive, while God said, "What do I have to do to nail this guy? I mean, come on." - Jimmy Fallon

Thursday, June 7, 2018

A Touch Of Humor

God gave men a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

Robin Williams

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

A Touch Of Humor

  • President Trump tweeted that he may pardon someone because Sylvester Stallone asked him to. The pardon is for the guy who wrote "Rocky V." - Conan O'Brien

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

A Touch Of Humor

  • A plane in Holland was forced to make an emergency landing after a passenger’s body odor was so bad that it caused others to vomit and faint. You know it’s bad when people are going into the airplane bathroom for some fresh air. - James Corden

Monday, June 4, 2018

A Touch Of Humor

  • Police in Germany recently spent 9 hours using a crane to lift an escaped water buffalo from a highway. Said the water buffalo, “I GET it, I’m FAT.” - Seth Meyers

Friday, June 1, 2018

A Touch Of Humor

"Everyone brings joy to this office ...
Some when they enter.
Some when they leave.

Author Unknown