Friday, August 16, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

“When did ignorance become a point of view?” 
― Scott Adams (Bestselling Comedy Writer, Creator of the Dilbert comic strip)

Thursday, August 15, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

"The number of households that own a television set is down for the first time since they started the survey. This is America! The only excuse for not having a TV in your home is, you’re too fat to fit into Best Buy to get one.”

Jimmy Kimmel

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true.

Homer Simpson

Tuesday, August 13, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

When you play spin the bottle if they don't want to kiss you, they have to give you a quarter. Well, hell, by the time I was twelve years old, I owned my own home.

Phyllis Diller

Sunday, August 11, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

“A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.” 
― George Bernard Shaw

Friday, August 9, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

The Princeton Review recently named Syracuse University America’s number one party school. Said people at Syracuse, “This is a school?”

Seth Meyers

Thursday, August 8, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”

George Carlin

Wednesday, August 7, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

Trevor Noah on being a comedian: "If this comedy thing doesn't work out, I've always got poverty to fall back on."

Tuesday, August 6, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

“It’s always darkest before the dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.”– Navjot Singh Sidhu

Monday, August 5, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

Dear Abby: Our son married a girl when he was in the service. They were married in February and she had an 8 1/2-pound baby girl in August. She said the baby was premature. Can an 8 1/2-pound baby be this premature? —Wanting to Know
Dear Wanting: The baby was on time. The wedding was late. Forget it.

Friday, August 2, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

“Americans are incredibly inpatient. Someone once said that the shortest period of time in America is the time between when the light turns green and when you hear the first horn honk.”– Jim Rohn

Thursday, August 1, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

“A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on.”– Samuel Goldwyn