Monday, September 16, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

“A lot of kids across the country got the day off from school because of Halloween. I’m pretty sure this is why we’re falling behind China. Not only did their kids not get the day off from school, they made all of our kids’ costumes.” 

Jimmy Kimmel

Friday, September 13, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed  to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers

Thursday, September 12, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

“New Rule: If you married a manic-depressive, three of your children died, and while you were president civil war broke out and someone shot you in the head, your coin really shouldn't say, "In God We Trust.” 
― Bill Maher, The New New Rules: A Funny Look At How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass

Wednesday, September 11, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

“The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.” 
― Groucho Marx

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.

Steve Martin

Monday, September 9, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.” 
― Snoopy (Peanuts) 

Friday, September 6, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

“I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can't figure out how to make into a belt?
― Bill Maher

Thursday, September 5, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

I don't understand this whole Elvis thing. There are dead people in my family that we miss and love dearly, but shoot, we don't dress up like them and do impressions. I'll show up at the family reunion in a dirty t-shirt and a bald cap - 'Look, everybody, I'm Uncle Earl.'

Wanda Sykes

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either.

Colin Quinn

Tuesday, September 3, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

“Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.” 
― Scott Adams (Bestselling Comedy Writer, Creator of the Dilbert comic strip)

Monday, September 2, 2019

A Touch Of Humor

Sometimes, the first step toward forgiveness is realizing the other person was born an idiot.

Author Unknown