A Touch of Humor

 

"Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers."

George Carlin (1937 - 2008) (Stand-Up Legend, Author, and Social Satirist)

A Touch of Humor

 

"Eventually you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it."

Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) (Humorist, Actor, and America's Cowboy Philosopher)

A Touch of Humor

 

"I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house."

Zsa Zsa Gabor (1917 - 2016) (Actress, Socialite, and Celebrated Wit)

A Touch of Humor

 

"Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before."

Mae West (1893 - 1980) (Actress, Playwright, Screenwriter, and Legendary Comic Wit)

A Touch of Humor

 

"The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing—and then marry him."

Cher (1946 - ) (Singer, Actress, Entertainer, and Pop-Culture Icon)

A Touch of Humor

 

"My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but can she climb a tree!"

Henny Youngman (1906 - 1998) (Legendary Comedian and King of the One-Liners)

A Touch of Humor

 

"Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well."

Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) (Author, Humorist, and Celebrated American Writer)