A Touch Of Humor

Friday, September 29, 2023

"I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time.' So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance."

- Steven Wright

"I asked my wife what she wanted for our anniversary. She said, 'Nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace.' So, I got her nothing."

- Conan O'Brien

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

- Ogden Nash

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.

- Anthony Burgess

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

- Clint Eastwood

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

- Jules Renard

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

- Paula Poundstone