A Touch Of Humor

Thursday, July 2, 2026

Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel!

Homer Simpson

"Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair."

- Sam Ewing

“Have you ever noticed that their stuff is junk, but your junk is stuff?”

— George Carlin (Legendary American stand-up comedian, social critic, and author)

"Brian, there’s a message in my cereal. It says 'oooooo.' Wait… those are just Cheerios."

— Peter Griffin (Family Guy)

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

— Dr. Seuss (Writer and illustrator of beloved children's books)

"Oh, I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?"

Homer Simpson

"Never miss a good chance to shut up."

Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) (Humorist, Actor, and America's Favorite Cowboy Philosopher)