A Touch Of Humor

Friday, July 17, 2026

"Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."

Jack Benny (1894 - 1974) (Legendary Comedian, Actor, and Radio Pioneer)

"Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with."

Spike Milligan (1918 - 2002) (Comedian, Writer, and Actor)

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."

Ann Landers (1918 - 2002) (Advice Columnist and Author)

"The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast."

Demetri Martin (1973 - ) (Comedian, Cartoonist, and Writer)

"You can fool some of the people all of the time—and those are the ones you should concentrate on."

George Burns (1896 - 1996) (Beloved Comedian and Entertainer)

"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."

Phyllis Diller (1917 - 2012) (Pioneering Stand-Up Comedian and Actress)

"My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying."

Rodney Dangerfield (1921 - 2004) (Stand-Up Legend and Master of Self-Deprecating Humor)