Tuesday, July 23, 2024

You Know You Are Getting Old When:

Dear Reader: At 79, I feel great and doing some of the best work of my life. But I would like to share a few observations with you. Please enjoy.

You know you are getting old:

1) When people younger than you are referred to as ELDERLY.

2) When people now walk with you to the car for YOUR safety.

3) When you qualify for every senior discount.

4) When you are quietly removed from the organ donar list.

5) When you can wear any outlandish thing you want and people cheer you on.

6) When you can spoil your grandchildren or the grandchildren of others and realize you no longer have to limit your generosity. You've become Santa Claus.

7) When people think you are wise, however little you may know. The older you look, the better. At last, a benefit to wrinkles.

With Love To All - Dick


Friday, January 5, 2024

A Touch of Humor

 I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

Bernard Manning 

Thursday, January 4, 2024

A Touch of Humor

 The average person eats nine spiders, every time I cook for them.

Anthony Jeselnik

Wednesday, January 3, 2024

A Touch of Humor

 Our attention span is short. We've all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these disorders with three letters because we don't have the time or patience to pronounce the entire disorder. That should be a disorder right there, TBD - Too Busy Disorder.

Ellen DeGeneres

Monday, January 1, 2024

A Touch of Humor

My wife's from the Midwest. Very nice people there. Very wholesome. They use words like 'Cripes'. 'For Cripe's sake.' Who would that be -- Jesus Cripe's? The son of 'Gosh' of the church of 'Holy Moly'? I'm not making fun of it. You think I wanna burn in 'Heck'?

Andy Rooney


A Touch of Humor

 A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!" The doctor told her, "Don't worry. Those are just contractions."

Friday, December 29, 2023

A Touch of Humor

 Facebook unveiled a new feature called "Nearby Friends" that broadcasts your location using your phone's GPS. It was originally called "Murder Me Whenever" but they changed it for marketing purposes. 

Jimmy Kimmel