A Touch Of Humor

Friday, May 8, 2026

“I named my dog ‘Stay.’ Now I yell ‘Come here, Stay!’—he just ignores me.”

— Steven Wright

“I don’t want to belong to any club that would accept me as a member.”

— Groucho Marx

“I don’t go crazy—I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.”

— Rita Rudner

“I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”

— Will Rogers

“I saw a bank that said ‘24 Hour Banking,’ but I don’t have that much time.”

— Steven Wright

“I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.”

— Steven Wright

“My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape… that would be a big step forward.”

— Jim Gaffigan