A Touch Of Humor

Friday, April 3, 2026

“You’re only as good as your last haircut.”

— Fran Lebowitz

“My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.”

— Stewart Francis

“I’m in shape… round is a shape.”

Jim Gaffigan

“I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance—waiting for the bathroom.”

Bob Hope

“I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”

Joan Rivers

“My wife and I have an agreement: I don’t try to run her life, and I don’t try to run mine.”

— Rodney Dangerfield

“My wife and I don’t argue. We just have loud, passionate exchanges of opinion.”

— Bill Burr