Friday, September 24, 2021

A Touch of Humor

 I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

 Henny Youngman

Thursday, September 23, 2021

A Touch of Humor

 I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums. 

Steven Wright

Wednesday, September 22, 2021

A Touch of Humor

 If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?

Robin Williams

Tuesday, September 21, 2021

A Touch Of Humor

I'm a huge film star, but you have to hurry to the movies because I usually die in the first 15 f***ing minutes. I'm the only guy I know who died in a f***ing Muppet Movie.

Billy Connolly

Monday, September 20, 2021

A Touch Of Humor

If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we'd all be millionaires.

Dear Abby (Advice Columnist)

Friday, September 17, 2021

A Touch of Humor

 Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical. 

Yogi Berra

Thursday, September 16, 2021

A Touch of Humor

 I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.

Rodney Dangerfield