Telemarketer: Hi, would you be interested in switching over to TMI long-distance service?
Jerry: Oh, gee. I...I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later?
Telemarketer: Uh...well, I'm sorry. We're not allowed to do that.
Jerry: Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home.
Telemarketer: No.
Jerry: Well, now you know how I feel.
Seinfeld
“What is the meaning of life?”
All evidence to date suggests it’s chocolate.
Author Unknown
From my friend Tom Brown’s Facebook page
[When comedian Brian Regan flies, he tries to get an emergency exit row seat.]
You know what kills me? When you’re in the emergency exit row seat ... you agree to save everyone. How come when the flight is over, no-one thanks you?
You’d think someone would take note of it on the way out. [And say], “The fact that you were willing to put your life on the line to save me, my family and all the other souls on this plane is one of the greatest gifts a human can offer to another.”
Brian Regan
Meanwhile, as pandemic restrictions ease, and the vaccine rollout continues, major companies like Domino’s are now struggling to hire enough employees. Yeah, you can tell Domino’s is desperate. Earlier today, they ordered Papa John’s and kidnapped the driver.
Jimmy Fallon
[There is currently a shortage of rental cars]
That rental car thing could be my fault. I always buy the insurance and instead of returning (the car) to the airport, I drive it off a cliff.
Stephen Colbert
