A Touch of Humor

 

"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."

Phyllis Diller (1917 - 2012) (Pioneering Stand-Up Comedian and Actress)

A Touch of Humor

 

"My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying."

Rodney Dangerfield (1921 - 2004) (Stand-Up Legend and Master of Self-Deprecating Humor)

A Touch of Humor

 

"When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick."

George Burns (1896 - 1996) (Beloved Comedian and Entertainer)

A Touch of Humor

 

"The trouble with having an open mind is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."

Terry Pratchett (1948 - 2015) (Fantasy Author, Satirist, and Humorist)

A Touch of Humor

 

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."

Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977) (Legendary Comedian and Master of the Quick Wit)

A Touch of Humor

 

Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel!

Homer Simpson

A Touch of Humor

 

"Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair." 

- Sam Ewing