A Touch of Humor

 

"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."

Bill Watterson (1958 - ) (Cartoonist, Humorist, and Creator of Calvin and Hobbes)

A Touch of Humor

 

"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."

Margaret Mead (1901 - 1978) (Anthropologist, Author, and Social Commentator)

A Touch of Humor

 

"You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot."

Phyllis Diller (1917 - 2012) (Pioneering Stand-Up Comedian and Actress)

A Touch of Humor

 

"The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job."

Slappy White (1921 - 1995) (Stand-Up Comedian and Actor)

A Touch of Humor

 

"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."

Lucille Ball (1911 - 1989) (Comedy Icon, Actress, Producer, and Television Pioneer)

A Touch of Humor

 

 "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."

 - Rita Rudner

A Touch of Humor

 

"I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog."

Wendy Liebman (1961 - ) (Stand-Up Comedian and Master of the One-Liner)