Monday, June 21, 2021

A Touch Of Humor

Jerry: Hello?

Telemarketer: Hi, would you be interested in switching over to TMI long-distance service?

Jerry: Oh, gee. I...I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later?

Telemarketer: Uh...well, I'm sorry. We're not allowed to do that.

Jerry: Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home.

Telemarketer: No.

Jerry: Well, now you know how I feel.


Friday, June 18, 2021

A Touch Of Humor

I was walking down Fifth Avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: "Well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel?" And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson.

Emo Phillips

Thursday, June 17, 2021

A Touch Of Humor

“What is the meaning of life?”

All evidence to date suggests it’s chocolate.

Author Unknown

From my friend Tom Brown’s Facebook page

Wednesday, June 16, 2021

A Touch Of Humor

 [When comedian Brian Regan flies, he tries to get an emergency exit row seat.]

You know what kills me? When you’re in the emergency exit row seat ... you agree to save everyone. How  come when the flight is over, no-one thanks you?

You’d think someone would take note of it on the way out. [And say], “The fact that you were willing to put your life on the line to save me, my family and all the other souls on this plane is one of the greatest gifts a human can offer to another.”

Brian Regan

Tuesday, June 15, 2021

A Touch Of Humor

Meanwhile, as pandemic restrictions ease, and the vaccine rollout continues, major companies like Domino’s are now struggling to hire enough employees. Yeah, you can tell Domino’s is desperate. Earlier today, they ordered Papa John’s and kidnapped the driver.

Jimmy Fallon 

Monday, June 14, 2021

A Touch Of Humor

[There is currently a shortage of rental cars] 

That rental car thing could be my fault. I always buy the insurance and instead of returning (the car) to the airport, I drive it off a cliff.

Stephen Colbert 

Friday, June 11, 2021

A Touch Of Humor

Nobody likes anything! We’re cranky, we’re irritable and we’re dealing with it by constantly changing locations. And so we come up with things like this, what we’re doing right now, this is a made up, bogus, hyped up, not necessary special event. [His Concert] That’s what this is! That a lot of people worked very hard to put together so that we could all just kill some time. That’s why I’m here! I had nothing to do either by the way.

Jerry Seinfeld