I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
I'm a huge film star, but you have to hurry to the movies because I usually die in the first 15 f***ing minutes. I'm the only guy I know who died in a f***ing Muppet Movie.
Baseball is ninety percent mental. The other half is physical.
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.