Friday, January 5, 2024

A Touch of Humor

 I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

Bernard Manning 

Thursday, January 4, 2024

A Touch of Humor

 The average person eats nine spiders, every time I cook for them.

Anthony Jeselnik

Wednesday, January 3, 2024

A Touch of Humor

 Our attention span is short. We've all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these disorders with three letters because we don't have the time or patience to pronounce the entire disorder. That should be a disorder right there, TBD - Too Busy Disorder.

Ellen DeGeneres

Monday, January 1, 2024

A Touch of Humor

My wife's from the Midwest. Very nice people there. Very wholesome. They use words like 'Cripes'. 'For Cripe's sake.' Who would that be -- Jesus Cripe's? The son of 'Gosh' of the church of 'Holy Moly'? I'm not making fun of it. You think I wanna burn in 'Heck'?

Andy Rooney

A Touch of Humor

 A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!" The doctor told her, "Don't worry. Those are just contractions."