"When I asked my personal trainer at the gym which machine I should use to impress beautiful women he pointed outside and said the ATM machine."
"Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn't allow it. 4:00, wallow in self pity; 4:30, stare into the abyss; 5:00, solve world hunger, tell no one; 5:30, Jazzercise; 6:30, dinner with me — I can't cancel that again; 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing. ... I'm booked. Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling, and slip slowly into madness."
—Jim Carrey as the Grinch in How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
As Mike Tyson says, everybody has a plan until they get hit in the mouth. The one thing we know about American presidential politics is you're going to get hit in the mouth.
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