“By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.”
– Charles Wadsworth
[Royal Caribbean is relaunching their cruises] Some of the ships’ Covid precautions include sailing at half capacity with mandatory masks at all times, mingling discouraged and no stops. So you’re on a big ship but it doesn’t dock anywhere and you can’t see anyone. Perfect vacation if you’ve been cooped up for the last nine months and thought, ‘I love my apartment but I wish it was smaller and gave me motion sickness.’
Trump still has 45 days in office ... We shouldn’t have this much time between the election and the inauguration. We should treat the White House like it’s America’s Airbnb. You lose the election, check out’s at 11 AM, next morning ... Leave the keys under the mat. New president checks in at 3(PM).
A new report has found that platypus fur glows green under UV light. Now, I know what you’re saying: ‘You’re saying, Stephen why are these people shining UV lights on platypuses?’ Well, one of the researchers explained, ‘It was a mix of serendipity and curiosity…’
Buddy that’s a lot of $10 words just to say me and Dale got high in the lab.
New Rule: Neighbors of the Georgia woman who turned her porch into a restaurant for chipmunks must conduct a wellness check. Hey, we all get lonely during a pandemic, but turning your porch into an Applebee’s for rodents? All I know is get there early in the day cause dinner is nuts.