Funny Wrong Predictions
"There's no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share. No chance."
Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, 2007
I saw that Nestlé is recalling more than 762,000 pounds of Pepperoni Hot Pockets over concerns that they may have pieces of glass or plastic inside of them. Right now customers are [deciding between] Pepperoni Hot Pockets filled with glass and plastic or Spinach Artichoke Lean Pockets [saying to themselves] ‘I mean, how much glass and plastic could it be?’
This pretty much sums up the crazy times. You survive Covid but then you’re killed by Hot Pockets.
“The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. It’s a good non-specific symptom; I’m a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but you get a nervous mother, you could wind up in a doctor’s office. That’s worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you’re bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It’s a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.”—Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick), Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Some sports news. The NFL regular season is over and for the first time since 2002, the Cleveland Browns are going to the playoffs ... When they heard that they made the playoffs, the Browns were like, ‘There’s more games after the season? They do that every year?’
The Senate will actually be split 50-50 with Vice President-elect Kamala Harris holding the tiebreaker that determines control. So essentially Harris is still going to be a Senator, pretty on-brand for America to elect their first woman Vice President and make her do her old job too. Only pay her for one of them.