Friday, June 30, 2023

A Touch of Humor

 "Scientists have found that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98% accuracy. The other 2% just thought it was a really cute butt." 

- Conan O'Brien

Thursday, June 29, 2023

A Touch of Humor

 "I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives." 

- David Letterman

Wednesday, June 28, 2023

A Touch of Humor

 "The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about." 

- Jimmy Fallon

Tuesday, June 27, 2023

A Touch of Humor

 "Some people say that money can't buy happiness, but I think it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle." 

- Conan O'Brien

Monday, June 26, 2023

A Touch of Humor

 "I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they're flashing behind you."

 - Jimmy Kimmel

Friday, June 23, 2023

A Touch of Humor

 "I love airports because the rules of society don't apply. You can walk around in your socks; you can throw a tantrum; you can eat a Nature Valley granola bar for dinner." 

- Seth Meyers

Thursday, June 22, 2023

A Touch of Humor

 "I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted.' There was another sign below it that said 'self-service.' So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit." 

- Jay Leno

Wednesday, June 21, 2023

A Touch of Humor

 The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I? 

Answer: Footsteps.

Tuesday, June 20, 2023

Monday, June 19, 2023

A Touch of Humor

 "I have a photographic memory, but it's out of film."

 - Steven Wright

Thursday, June 15, 2023

A Touch of Humor

 The CEO of IKEA was elected Prime Minister in Sweden.

He should have his cabinet together by the end of the weekend.

Wednesday, June 14, 2023

A Touch of Humor

 Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. 

Mae West

Tuesday, June 13, 2023

A Touch of Humor

 “Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.”

― Will Rogers

Monday, June 12, 2023

A Touch of Humor

 "I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug." 

- Unknown

Friday, June 9, 2023

A Touch of Humor

 I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy. 

Mitch Hedberg

Thursday, June 8, 2023

A Touch of Humor

 Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time... I think I've forgotten this before. 

Steven Wright

Wednesday, June 7, 2023

A Touch of Humor

 “Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’”


Tuesday, June 6, 2023

A Touch of Humor

 “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.”

—Will Ferrell

Monday, June 5, 2023

A Touch of Humor

 The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education. 

Albert Einstein

Friday, June 2, 2023

A Touch of Humor

 What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm. 

Rodney Dangerfield

Thursday, June 1, 2023

A Touch of Humor

 “I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.”

― Bill Watterson