A Touch of Humor

 No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar. 

-Abraham Lincoln

Read more at https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/funny-quotes

A Touch of Humor

 I've had great success being a total idiot. ”

― Jerry Lewis

A Touch of Humor

 I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.

Ron White

A Touch of Humor

 I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.”

― Rodney Dangerfield

A Touch of Humor

 “Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.”

― Yogi Berra, When You Come to a Fork in the Road, Take It!: Inspiration and Wisdom from One of Baseball's Greatest Heroes

A Touch of Humor

 A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.

Franklin Jones

A Touch of Humor

This is not a book that should be tossed lightly aside. It should be hurled with great force 

- Dorothy Parker.

A Touch of Humor

Ordinarily he is insane. But he has lucid moments when he is only stupid 

- Heinrich Heine

A Touch of Humor

 When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?

 - David Letterman.

A Touch of Humor

Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.

– Rita Mae Brown

A touch of Humor

 If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough 

- Mario Andretti.

A Touch of Humor

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby

 - Natalie Wood.

A Touch of Humor

 We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience 

- George Bernard Shaw

A Touch of Humor

 “If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?”

 – Albert Einstein.

A Touch of Humor

 The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school 

- George Bernard Shaw.

A Touch of Humor

 My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way

 – Henny Youngman.

A Touch of Humor

Am I perfect? No. But am I striving to be a better person every day? Also no.

Author Unknown

A Touch of Humor

 The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream.

 Bill Murray

A Touch of Humor

 If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success? 

Jerry Seinfeld

A Touch of Humor

Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

 Will Rogers

A Touch of Humor

 A fool and his money never should have got together in the first place.

Michael Douglas, Wall Street