A Touch Of Humor,

We're told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really, what would upset the Taliban more than a gay woman wearing a suit in front of a room full of Jews?

Ellen DeGeneres

A Touch of Humor

A Touch Of Humor

I read that Queen Elizabeth has made nearly $9 million in winnings from her race horses over the past 30 years. She lost most of it betting on cockfights, but still — that's a lot!

Jimmy Fallon

A Touch Of Humor

“I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.” —Johnny Carson

Touch of Humor

                                                                  Google Images

A Touch of Humor

A Touch Of Humor

“Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent. ” 
― Dave Barry

A Touch Of Humor

Following an argument, an 
angry Lady Astor told Winston Churchill, “Winston, if you were 
my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee.” Churchill snapped, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

A Touch Of Humor

People who point at their wrist while asking for the time: I know where my watch is buddy, where the f**k is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?

George Carlin

A Touch Of Humor

 “I’m not offended by blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb … and I also know that I’m not blonde.” —Dolly Parton

A Touch Of Humor

Researchers say they may have figured out how the ancient Egyptians built the Great Pyramid of Giza. What they haven’t figured out is how the ancient Egyptians got Mexico to pay for it.

Conan O'Brien

A Touch Of Humor

The new iPhone is pretty incredible. Experts say it's going to revolutionize the way we ignore the person standing right next to us.

James Corden

A Touch Of Humor

Ikea has released its first collection of furniture designed specifically for pets. Although, if I can’t figure out how to put it together, I don’t see how they will.

Seth Meyers

A Touch Of Humor

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.”  —Abraham Lincoln

A Touch Of Humor

Amazon just announced that teens can now shop on their parents’ accounts, but the order will only go through if Mom and Dad approve it. Or if they click the button that says, “Mom and Dad approve it.”

Jimmy Fallon

A Touch Of Humor

Thanks to Ben Haney for passing this along.

A Touch Of Humor

Apple CEO Tim Cook is claiming that the $1000 iPhone X is a good value. Cook said, “It’s the last phone you’ll ever need for the next eight months."

Conan O'Brien

A Touch Of Humor

“Part of [the $10 million] went 
for gambling, horses, and women. The rest I spent foolishly.” —George Raft, film star

A Touch Of Humor

“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.” 
― Woody Allen

A Touch Of Humor

Google just released a pair of headphones that can translate 40 languages instantly. They say it’s a great way to travel to a new country and find out everyone’s making fun of you.

Jimmy Fallon

A Touch Of Humor

“If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.” 
― Dave Barry

A Touch Of Humor

I have not failed: I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work

Thomas Edison

A Touch Of Humor

No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: He is always convinced that it says what he means.

George Bernard Shaw

A Touch Of Humor

"Why is it no-one ever says, 'I think he's down there now smiling up at us.' Apparently, it never occurs to people that their loved ones might be in Hell ... "

George Carlin

A Touch Of Humor

In China, for the first time ever, a robot performed dental surgery without human assistance. Everyone was excited until they remembered that the robot was just supposed to vacuum the living room.

Conan O'Brien