A Touch Of Humor

“If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.” 
― Steven Wright

A Touch Of Humor

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

Groucho Marx

A Touch Of Humor

“Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty and I'll show you a man.” 
― Erica Jong

A Touch Of Humor

“Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.” 

― Yogi Berra, When You Come to a Fork in the Road, Take It!: Inspiration and Wisdom from One of Baseball's Greatest Heroes

A Touch Of Humor

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

 Thank you to my friend Tom Brown for sharing this with us.

A Touch Of Humor

Remember, when you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It is only painful for others. The same applies when you are stupid. Ricky Gervais (Comedian, Actor, Producer)

A Touch Of Humor

I'm not a member of any organized party. I am a Democrat.

Will Rogers

A Touch Of Humor

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. George Carlin

A Touch Of Humor

Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the m is silent.

Author Unknown
Thank you to my friend Erika Schlesinger for sharing this.

A Touch Of Humor

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, look to tomorrow, rest this afternoon.”
― Charles M. Schulz, Charlie Brown's Little Book of Wisdom

A Touch Of Humor

“Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.” 
― Steve Martin

A Touch Of Humor

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Rodney Dangerfield

A Touch Of Humor

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your troubles, you wouldn't sit for a month.

Teddy Roosevelt

A Touch Of Humor

I have a new philosophy - I'm only going to dread one day at a time.

Charlie Brown (Peanuts Character)

A Touch Of Humor

Alaska Airlines might start giving out virtual reality headsets to first-class passengers. Meanwhile, if you're in coach, they just duct tape an in-flight magazine to your forehead.

Jimmy Fallon

A Touch Of Humor

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.

Abraham Lincoln

A Touch Of Humor

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find someone whose life has given them vodka and have a party.

Ron White

A Touch Of Humor

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. Joan Rivers

A Touch Of Humor

“The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.” 
― Dave Barry

A Touch Of Humor

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made. Groucho Marx

A Touch Of Humor

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. Lily Tomlin