Krusty the Clown, announcing his candidacy for Congress: "Gentlemen, I am your candidate. There's just one thing. Are you guys any good at covering up youthful, middle aged indiscretions?"
Mr. Burns: "Are these indiscretions romantic, financial or treasonous?" Krusty: "Russian hooker, you tell me."
Burns: "We'll say you were on a fact finding mission."
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