A Touch Of Humor

Tuesday, July 14, 2026

"The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing somebody's cast."

Demetri Martin (1973 - ) (Comedian, Cartoonist, and Writer)

"You can fool some of the people all of the time—and those are the ones you should concentrate on."

George Burns (1896 - 1996) (Beloved Comedian and Entertainer)

"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."

Phyllis Diller (1917 - 2012) (Pioneering Stand-Up Comedian and Actress)

"My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying."

Rodney Dangerfield (1921 - 2004) (Stand-Up Legend and Master of Self-Deprecating Humor)

"When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick."

George Burns (1896 - 1996) (Beloved Comedian and Entertainer)

"The trouble with having an open mind is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."

Terry Pratchett (1948 - 2015) (Fantasy Author, Satirist, and Humorist)

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."

Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977) (Legendary Comedian and Master of the Quick Wit)