A Touch Of Humor

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Groucho Marx

A Touch Of Humor

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

Abraham Lincoln

A Touch Of Humor

"Your hand and your mouth agreed many years ago that, as far as chocolate is concerned, there is no need to involve your brain.” 
― Dave Barry

A Touch Of Humor

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

Bob Hope

A Touch Of Humor

You can measure distance by time. "How far away is it?" "Oh about 20 minutes." But it doesn't work the other way. "When do you get off work?" "Around 3 miles." 

Jerry Seinfeld

A Touch Of Humor

I just read that one of the least-returned holiday gifts for women is anti-aging skin cream. So, if you're thinking of buying the woman you love anti-aging skin cream — still don't.

Jimmy Fallon

A Touch Of Humor

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needs it most?

Mark Twain