A Touch Of Humor: October 2026

Friday, October 16, 2026

"I am not young enough to know everything."

Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) (Irish Playwright, Poet, and Master of the Epigram)

"I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year."

Victor Borge (1909 - 2000) (Danish-American Comedian, Pianist, and Musical Humorist)

"An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field."

Niels Bohr (1885 - 1962) (Danish Physicist and Nobel Prize Laureate)

"A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink."

W. C. Fields (1880 - 1946) (Comedian, Actor, Juggler, and Vaudeville Legend)

"I don't believe in astrology; I'm a Sagittarius and we're skeptical."

Arthur C. Clarke (1917 - 2008) (Science Fiction Author, Futurist, and Inventor)

"The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us."

Bill Watterson (1958 - ) (Cartoonist, Humorist, and Creator of Calvin and Hobbes)

"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."

Margaret Mead (1901 - 1978) (Anthropologist, Author, and Social Commentator)

"You know you're old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you're barefoot."

Phyllis Diller (1917 - 2012) (Pioneering Stand-Up Comedian and Actress)

"The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job."

Slappy White (1921 - 1995) (Stand-Up Comedian and Actor)

"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."

Lucille Ball (1911 - 1989) (Comedy Icon, Actress, Producer, and Television Pioneer)

"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."

- Rita Rudner

"I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog."

Wendy Liebman (1961 - ) (Stand-Up Comedian and Master of the One-Liner)