Friday, June 3, 2016

A Touch Of Humor

"Why do people give each other flowers! To celebrate various important occasions , they're killing living creatures. Why restrict it to plants? Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel."

Jerry Seinfeld

A Touch Of Humor

"Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge."

Jerry Seinfeld

A Touch Of Humor

"Procrastinate now, don't put it off."

Ellen DeGeneres

A Touch Of Humor

"In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better."

Ellen DeGeneres

A Touch Of Humor

"You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is."

Ellen DeGeneres

A Touch Of Humor

"Some people have a way with words, and other people ... oh, uh, not have way."

Steve Martin

A Touch Of Humor

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

Steve Martin