A Touch Of Humor

The Senate will actually be split 50-50 with Vice President-elect Kamala Harris holding the tiebreaker that determines control. So essentially Harris is still going to be a Senator, pretty on-brand for America to elect their first woman Vice President and make her do her old job too. Only pay her for one of them.

 Stephen Colbert  

A Touch Of Humor

 “I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”

– Phyllis Diller

A Touch Of Humor

 “Of all the things I’ve lost I miss my mind the most.”

– Ozzy Osbourne

A Touch Of Humor

 “When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.”

– Norm Crosby

A Touch Of Humor

Last week I saw my dentist. Another beauty, my dentist. I said to him can you put in a new tooth to match my other teeth? He put in a tooth with four cavities.

Rodney Dangerfield

A Touch Of Humor

In the fantasy mind of the golfing father, when he comes home, the family will come running out to hear the exciting stories of his golfing adventures. In reality, no one is even aware that he has left or returned. From 8 1/2 hours of idiotic hacking through sand and weeds while driving drunk in a clown car through a fake park.

Jerry Seinfeld

A Touch Of Humor

 “Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, ‘Jesus! This cup is expensive!'”

– Conan O’Brien