A Touch of Humor

Ralph: If any of the Racoons ever get sick, it'll be my responsibility to go and visit them.

Alice: Oh, that is a very important responsibility, Ralph. You better start now and find out what the visiting hours are at Bellevue.

Ralph: That did it, Alice - that did it. You have just broken the camel's back with that straw. You have ridiculed my brother Racoons. You have just made fun of something very big that's close to my heart.

Alice: The only thing big that's close to your heart is your stomach.

The Honeymooners

A Touch Of Humor

Royal Caribbean has announced a US come back for this summer. There’s only one catch. Vaccinations are optional. What the what? You can’t trust cruise passengers to make smart health decisions. These are people who wait in line to scoop up macaroni salad from a bin a toddler left a flip-flop in.

Stephen Colbert

A Touch Of Humor

Whenever I leave a restaurant, I always stop by a random table and say, “Thank you for taking care of our check.”

Steve Martin

A Touch Of Humor

Frank Burns: The men hate me, don't they?

Radar: Just your guts, sir.

M*A*S*H

A Touch Of Humor

[Peter is eating cereal].

Peter: Oh my God, Brian... There's a message in my Alpha Bits... It says "Ooooooo".

Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.

Family Guy

A Touch Of Humor

In India, [the] huge surge in cases along with the vaccine shortage is pushing people to try unconventional treatments. So much so that doctors are trying to convince people that there’s no evidence smearing yourself in cow dung cures coronavirus. Though I’m pretty sure it will keep people 6 feet away.

Stephen Colbert

A Touch Of Humor

Rose: You don't understand. Everyone likes me - I'm the nice one! Dorothy is the smart one, Blanche is the sexy one, Sophia is the old one, and I'm the nice one! Everybody likes me.

Sophia: The old one isn't so crazy about you.

The Golden Girls