A Touch of Humor

 I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

 Rodney Dangerfield

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A Touch of Humor

 When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say. 

Henny Youngman

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A Touch of Humor

 We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

 Milton Berle

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A Touch of Humor

 If you're naturally kind, you attract a lot of people you don't like.

 William Feather

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A Touch of Humor

 Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.

 Jerry Seinfeld

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A Touch of Humor

 I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.

 Muhammad Ali

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A Touch of Humor

 Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it. 

Harry S Truman

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