Facebook unveiled a new feature called "Nearby Friends" that broadcasts your location using your phone's GPS. It was originally called "Murder Me Whenever" but they changed it for marketing purposes.
Jimmy Kimmel
Friday, December 29, 2023
Thursday, December 28, 2023
A Touch of Humor
Health inspectors will give New York street food vendors letter grades, so if you see a streetcar with the letters A, B or C, that's just the type of hepatitis you'll get.
Jimmy Fallon
Wednesday, December 27, 2023
A Touch of Humor
A new study found that hand dryers in bathrooms spread more germs than paper towels. And then the makers of hand dryers said, But don't forget, we also don't dry your hands.
Jimmy Fallon
Tuesday, December 26, 2023
A Touch of Humor
Mark Zuckerberg is not having a good day. Things are so bad for him right now that Facebook is showing him ads for Xanax.
Trevor Noah
Monday, December 25, 2023
A Touch of Humor
Why did Santa’s helper start going to therapy? He had low “elf” esteem.
What do Santa’s helpers learn in school? The elf-abet.
What do you call a frozen elf? An elfcicle!
What would you find on an elf’s Instagram account? Lots of elf-ies.
What is an elf’s favorite candy? Orna-mints.
What do you call an elf that just won the lottery? Welfy.
What sport do Christmas elves compete in? North Pole-vaulting.
Who is the best singer in the North Pole? Elf-is Presley.
What’s an elf’s favorite sport? Miniature golf.
What was the elf allergic to? Sh-Elf-ish.
What do you call Santa’s little helpers? Subordinate clauses!
(I'll see myself out now, Merry Christmas!)
Friday, December 22, 2023
A Touch of Humor
"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that."
- Stewart Francis
Thursday, December 21, 2023
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